At this time last week, I was going to bed at 8:30 every night. Now I can't shut my mind off. And here I sit. I need a name for our baby. Mark thought from the beginning it was a boy. I can go with that. We had a first name picked out a long time ago, but I just don't know about a middle name to go with it. I will pray for a perfect name to go along with it. A perfect name for our perfect baby in heaven that Mama Lucy is babysitting for me. For those of you who don't know about Mama Lucy, she was my first mom who died when I was 3.
Browsing around the internet tonight, I started searching for some beautiful pencil drawings someone once emailed me. They were of Jesus with children. I want to order at least one of these. Tomorrow I will ask Mark's opinion between http://www.keatonprints.com/welcomeinhishands.htm and http://www.keatonprints.com/printsnuggle.htm Personally I think I'm leaning more towards the "In His Hands" print.
Today I asked my boss for one more day off. One more day to grieve before returning to life as normal. I don't feel like my life will ever be the same normal again. I know that sounds dramatic. But my life has been changed. Who would have thought a tiny human inside me for such a short time could change me. Once I got home and sat in my recliner crying for awhile, I decided maybe it wasn't the best thing for me to stay home for one more day and cry. So I planned on going back to work tomorrow. Now, and 2:30 am, I'm thinking I probably won't be at work tomorrow. That's ok too.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
It's 2 am, and I can't shut my mind off....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
My Dear Sweet Niki,
When you left work Thursday after your phone call, I was so concerned for you. I did not know if it had something to do with a family member or your baby. All I knew, was you were a mess. I have followed your blog everyday, because I knew that was one place you would go. I have wanted to comment and just erase what I write because I can't find the right words to say to you and Mark. My heart just goes out to you both. I'm am so very sorry for your loss. You are such a wonderful couple and GOD definetly has a plan for you two.
Niki, I know I don't understand exactly what you are going through, no one can unless they have actually been there, but I'm here for you, and I will be here for you the next time too. I will bug you just as much and follow your progress day after day just as you and Mark have done. You have taught me alot through all the steps you two have taken, yet you are still strong. Not willing to give up. I believe you and Mark are this strong because of the faith you have in Our Lord Jesus Christ. Just keep this faith, he truely has something very special for you.
As for the picture of Christ and the baby...I personally like the snuggle one. God has wrapped his arms around your baby and will protect and shelter "him". But of course, it's what you and Mark think.
I Love you both and my thoughts and prayers are with you always.
Dana~
((((hugs))))
I thought your little one was boy too. Thank you for posting about your flowers. We are so blessed to be able to celebrate your baby with you. There is more I want to say, but I'll write in on HP. Just seeing your blog now. ((())) Jen
Post a Comment