More local travel

Yesterday Mark and I decided to do some more local exploration. This time we went south-east to the "South Hills." We were scouting for some camping spots. We didn't find anywhere we really wanted to go camping, but it was a nice drive. And we came across this VERY funny (gross but funny!) sign. I'm thinking about sending it to Letterman!

Our animals

We are blessed with wonderful animals. We loved them like family. Our kitties are sisters. They love to be together. They are rarely apart.

And our dog Lady. She is my baby. She's a 50 pound lap dog. She is truly a gift from God. I don't know how I would have made it through these years of longing for a child without her. I Thank God for his blessings!!

March of Dimes and Father's Day

Busy weekend! Mark is on-call for work, so we must stay close to home, so we decided to skip the normal family festivities. Part of this was for me. Mother's Day and Father's Day will never again be the same for me. Friday night we took our parents out to dinner to celebrate Father's Day with our dads. We had a nice time together with our parents.

Mark had to work Saturday, and earlier in the week I got suckered into walking in the March of Dimes Walk America with the team from my office. I had thought about it a couple of months ago, but Mark talked me out of it. Much to Mark's upset, I got talked back into it. I'm not so sure why he didn't want me to walk. I had to remind him that he himself benefited from March of Dimes as a premie. I ended up walking. 6.2 Miles is a long way to walk when one isn't prepared to do so! I really didn't think I would make it the whole way, but once I made it 2/3's of the way, I was determined to finish. It was a good feeling to finish, but I'm a bit sore for it!

For Father's Day, I wasn't going to go to church. The thought really hadn't occurred to Mark that we might not go. So I figured if anyone had a right to be upset today it should be Mark, and if he wants to go, then we shall go. When they asked all of the Father's to stand up, I think it really hit Mark. Even though he knew he is a Father, he didn't stand up. I think he didn't want to feel like he needed to justify or explain that our child is in heaven. I had a rough time in the service we ended up staying for prayer afterwards. The music minister is the one that came to pray with us. What a devine appointment. He and his wife suffered through infertility and ended up adopting their son. He spoke to us with great compassion from someone who has been down that road.

Women's Retreat

Mark and I both grew up in Assembly of God churches. His parents and mine both attend A/G churches. Mark and I do not. We belong to a church we love called Lighthouse Christian Fellowship. We have nothing against A/G churches, but we just felt led to the church we are a part of. My oldest sister's husband is an Assembly of God pastor. She invited my mom and I to go to women's retreat with her church.

I decided to go. The retreat is in a beautiful facility surrounded by some of God's most amazing scenery. I went with expectations. I want to be healed. It feels like my body has failed me in so many ways. We have been trying to have a baby for more than 4 years now, and my body can't even have a miscarriage the way it should! It's very frustrating. So at the end of the first night, the speaker had an alter call for women who needed a healing in their bodies. She first called for people with specific conditions, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc. Then she called for anyone that wanted a healing in their body. My mom told me I had to go up. I wanted to, but didn't know if that was necessarily what I was supposed to do. I dismissed that in my mind as fear. Fear of not being healed. Fear of disappointment. So I went up. There were so many women at the altar for prayer that I had to wait for probably about an hour. When she got to me and asked what I needed prayer for, I told her between my tears about our efforts to have a baby, and our recent loss. She told me that she doesn't pray for couples to have babies. She never had a baby, and there are lots of children around for me to love on. She said she would pray for God to give us a child only if that child would make heaven it's home. She didn't pray for my body to be healed. I left that alter angry.

Later, my mom was speaking with a member of the prayer team that travels with this speaker, and she said what a great track-record the speaker has for praying for babies. Every year she has women come up to her with their miracles conceived after she prayed for them. She didn't pray for me to be healed. She didn't really pray for me to have a baby. What was I supposed to get out of that? I don't know. In the end, I think it was some confirmation of some things I needed to hear. I guess maybe I was pinning my faith on the prayers of a person, not God. How sad. :( It really isn't about me. God does have a plan, and I need to learn to wait on that plan. The rest of the retreat was good, once I got passed that. While the retreat wasn't what I had hoped for or expected, I did get some confirmations of things I needed to hear. God has given me directions. He has given me my honey-do list to work on. I just need to keep working on it. Will this bring me a baby? I don't know. I guess in the end that's not what matters. I need to be obedient. Lots of rambling here, but I'm getting my thoughts out. More on that later! With this, I'll leave you with some more pictures.