The wait continues.

Well, after 5 negative home pregnancy tests I wasn't holding out much hope. I was very convinced that this cycle was again a bust. But I went in this morning for a blood test called an hcg beta. This measures the exact levels of the hcg in the blood, and I'm not quite ready to share with everyone yet, but at lunch today I got my results back.

I'm 15 DPO and my beta came back at 9. Not quite what I had hoped for, but at least it's not negative. They said it could be a late bloomer, or an early miscarriage, or an ectopic. To give you an idea, out of 2193 successful pregnancies (and for this chart, they defined successful pregnancy as "made it to the detection of a heartbeat") only 3 were below 10. The average level was 130-243. (679 reporting at that level, and 641 were reported at 243-456) Makes 9 sound really low doesn't it??

I'm sort of numb right now, but I'm trying to focus on these facts:

* I am a mom. No matter what happens, now and forever I am a mom. I've never been able to say that before!

* Worry will not add a single day to this child's life.

* God is the giver of life. I have a great clinic, they are full of knowledge but they can only do so much. God is soverign. Whether this child was meant to live in me for a few weeks, or 9 months is not mine to determine. No matter what, God is still God.


So the wait continues. I repeat my bloodwork on Thursday. By Thursday,we are hoping that the 9 has doubled to at least 18. 18 is still very low, but it means the pregnancy is progressing.