Wonderful Christmas, and cycle progress

I'm happy to report that we had a wonderful Christmas. Christmas Eve, I worked all day. After work we went to my parents house for the evening. We played had dinner, my mom provided gifts for a gift exchange accompanied by a cute little story about the "Wright Family." Every time the word right, write, Wright etc was said, gifts had to be passed to the right. Every time left was said, gifts had to be passed to the left. We finished off the evening with family with a little boxing and other games on the Wii. Lots of laughs and fun. Christmas morning we went to my sister's house for gifts with my side of the family. Then about noon we went to Mark's parents house for gift exchange with their family, and lunch. We started a movie, but came home before the movie was over.

We finished off the evening with Mark giving me a shot of Estridol Valerate. This was my second injection of this cycle. However Mark's mom gave me the first shot, to demonstrate technique for Mark. I'm happy to report Mark did fantastic. I barely felt a thing! So at least we know the twice weekly injections of the Estridol shouldn't be a problem. The jury is still out on the Progesterone in Oil. That is a larger needle, thicker oil, larger amount to be injected, and it's daily. I'm still not to excited about that part, but it's part of the process. Tomorrow I will go for a blood test to monitor my estrogen levels. They want to make sure I have a "therapeutic level" in my blood. From what the nurse practitioner explained to me, too much E2 acts as a contraceptive, too little won't build up the lining of my uterus in time for our transfer. Lots of needles involved with this process.

Our evening in the Castle

There are so many details in our suite, it would be impossible to show everything. Here are a few of them. Entering the room, the jacuzzi tub is nestled in the rocks to one side, just outside the castle walls. From there, you walk over a draw bridge across the moat complete with an alligator and all! The suite was two levels, with the dining room downstairs, and the round bed upstairs in the turret. The turret had a domed ceiling with a flat screen TV mounted above. (I think that was Mark's favorite part). The upstairs has an overlook to the moat and bathtub below. It's such an expensive place to stay, we can't afford to go there often, but it's always such an enjoyable experience, and a wonderful time to reconnect. We got a gift certificate good for any room at Costco, so we were able to stay in one of the most expensive suites. What a fantastic Christmas gift to each other.

We're on our way!!

We had our plan of care meeting, lining check ultrasound, and injection training yesterday. It was a very informative meeting. We have our appointment times set up for lining checks and our transfer!! SO Exciting!

All is well with my lining. It's right where it should be for the beginning of my cycle. The cyst that was found in my last ultrasound early November has started collapsing. All is well, we're on our way! Our coordinator gave us some consents to sign, and some more consents to take with us and read through and bring back to the next lining check. We reviewed the medications, and how to give the injections. I now have a large black sharpie circle drawn on each bum cheek as targets for Mark. The first injection was today. We will continue to do these injections twice a week. In addition to this set of injections, we both began a 10 day course of antibiotics to ward off any underlying infections, and I began a daily regimen of low dose aspirin. Lots and lots to keep track of. I will go for blood work in a little less than a week to check my estrogen levels. From that they will adjust my medication levels for injections.

Tonight was the first injection. Although we had targets on my bum, we both felt best about having Mark watch a professional do a shot once before he started. It just so happens Mark's mom is a nurse. We went by her office after work, and I prepared the medication, the three of us stepped into the bathroom, and she gave me the shot. I really didn't feel it. Gives me happy feelings for what is to come. I was dreading these injections. I should mention these are intramuscular injections, not subcutaneous as I have given myself before. For those new to this journey, or just following along on our journey, intramuscular means a bigger needle, given into the muscle, subcutaneous is just under the skin, with a skinny little tiny needle.

In other news, Mark and I stayed at a wonderful theme suite bed and breakfast last night. This was our third stay there. We stayed for our wedding night, and one night last week. It's such an expensive place, but so well worth it in our books. It's a wonderful time together reconnecting and just being with each other. Tomorrow I will post pictures of our stay in "Sleeping Beauty's Castle."

Long time no update

I haven't updated in quite awhile. I'm not sure why either. I have been in a bit of a funk for a little bit. I lack motivation to do much, but I've forced myself to get the holiday stuff together. This is totally unlike me. I really didn't want to decorate for Christmas, I really didn't even want to hang Christmas lights. That is REALLY not me. I don't know if it's just that my mind is already anticipating January, or if the birth control pills are affecting my moods. Both are likely true. However over the last couple of weekends I have gotten myself together, and gotten the decorating and shopping pretty much complete. Most of the gifts are wrapped and several are under the tree. My plan is to have everything else "wrapped up" in the next few days.

In other news, my body has been less than cooperative this last week, resulting in a frantic phone call to the RE's office on Friday. I was quire sure this was going to throw a wrench in the timeline. The nurse assured me that all was not lost. As of now, the plan is still on track. Tonight is my last birth control pill! YAAAAY!! As exciting as that is, I have a feeling when my bum becomes a pin-cushion, I will be longing for the days of silly little birth control pills. Friday I picked up my prescriptions. The pharmacist wasn't sure of what size needles I was going to need, so he "threw in enough to get me through a week." The pile made my stomach do flips. Ohhhhhh dear! What have I signed myself up for? I remember how nerve wracked I was this past January/February when I started injections for the first time. Those were little tiny needles that went into my belly. This time, the needles are not so tiny, and have to go into my bum muscles. My cheeks tighten at the thought.

It's been awhile since I've had anything to do to get ready for our FET. So I just decided to do some calendar counting and share with anyone who wants to know.

I have:

9 more days of birth control pills.

14 days until our baseline ultrasound and plan of care meeting.

15 days until we start estrogen shots (not so much fun, but part of the process)

22 days of work until the transfer.

and last but CERTAINLY not least....

39 days till transfer!!!!


That got me excited all over again :)

Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock.

I hate to say nothing, but there's nothing much to say. Nothing has changed over the past few weeks, other than getting ready for Christmas.

A dear friend, and former neighbor called to catch up with me this afternoon. (Oh how I miss them!) I was able to tell her all of the exciting news about our embryo adoption. Because I haven't had any "work" to do to get ready, it's seemed a little less real, and very distant. But just explaining the process to someone new got me excited all over again!

I have taken 4 weeks of birth control pills. I have 2 more weeks to go. So far the pills haven't made me sick as I have always gotten with bcp's in the past. So that's a very good thing. We are just a just a little over 6 weeks to transfer. With all of the Christmas festivities in the midst of that, I'm hoping the time will tick by very quickly.

I'm off to start decorating the inside of our house for Christmas.

I love Christmas lights! Love them! I didn't see it, but someone said our lights were on the news last year. Just a short clip of them during the weather. Fun huh? :) Every year, I seem to need to add more lights to our display. I'm really beginning to think it's a sickness. In fact, while I was recording this video, a nightbor walked by with his dog and said the lights looked nice. You can may even be able to hear me tell him that it's a sickness!. I really want something for over the garage. I'm just not sure what yet. So I continue. At least you can see our display as it is now. I don't think I'll do TOO much more this year.

Kitty Picture

Here is Ginger enjoying the comfort of the penthouse sitting area in our new kitty condo. The first day or two, the kitties sniffed around the condo, and hopped on and quickly back off, just like any new piece of furniture. I really don't think they thought it was theirs. So we did what a good cat lover would do. We drugged them. We bought catnip. They go pretty nuts with the stuff. We put the catnip all over the condo. When they start coming down off the high, they just want to lay around. Now they don't even need the catnip to lay around on it. Although she looks it, Ginger isn't even high in this picture :)

Happy Thanksgiving

I know I've done a bit more posting today than normal. Ok, maybe that's an understatement... So I've posted a lot more than normal as of late. I just can't let today end without giving thanks. Tonight I am thankful for many things. I'm thankful from my salvation, and God that gives it so freely. I'm thankful for my wonderful husband and family. Yes, that includes our frozen AND furry family as well. I'm thankful for my home and my country, and so many more things than this. I am truly blessed.

Happy Birthday Lady

We don't know for sure when Lady was born. She was about 6 months old when we got her from the pound. From the letter left by her previous family who couldn't keep her when they moved, we can guess that she was born sometime mid to late November. So in that time frame, it's easiest for us to remember Thanksgiving. That is the day I choose to honor as our sweet pup's birthday. While I was making a dessert to take to my family's Thanksgiving celebration, I let Lady lick the bowl. I love her like a person. Happy birthday baby!

Victory

We did it. We were in fact victorious! I woke up at 4 am this morning. It was the normal wake up call. My dear sweet husband sawing logs. No, not literally sawing logs, but sounds like it. The boy can snore! Alas I fear he has taken after his father. This means 5 nights out of 7, I end up in the spare room. I always start out in our bed with Mark. Lately, I most often don't make it through the night. Lady and I retreat to the quiet cold of the other end of the house. Haha, the other end of the house sounds like we have a big house. Yes, I go to the guest wing. Really our house is 1300 square feet. Comfortable, but not huge. The master bedroom, bathroom and closet are on one side of the house, the kitchen dining room and living room are in the middle, and the 2 other bedrooms and bathroom are on the other side. But, I digress.

Where was I? Oh yes, Lady and I retreating to the guest wing. So we get in there, I doze off for about 15 minutes, and wake up again. So I decided to get up, and get myself dressed to brave the cold. I squeezed my extra large bum into my medium long johns, and a couple of other layers, and went to wake Mark up. We left the house shortly before 5 AM. We went to Burger King to grab a quick bite to eat, and then it was off to Kmart to wait in line for the ever elusive Nintendo Wii. We've been talking about buying one for the last month or so, but they have proved to be next to impossible to find. We got the hint from several stores to "check back after Thanksgiving" *wink wink* Meaning they have some, but they are saving them for the big shopping days. Kmart had Wii's in their Thanksgiving Day sale ad. So there we waited. There were probably a dozen people ahead of us, give or take a few. Some of them were together though, so we felt safe when the Kmart lady came out and started listing how many of each of their big ticket items they had in stock. They had 8 Wii's. We knew it would be close, so we decided to wait it out.

At 6:45, she came out to pass out vouchers for to the first people in line for the big ticket/limited quantity items that they had been waiting for. Once the store opened, we just had to take those vouchers to the service desk to purchase the items. No wrestling needed! Great system, right? Should be, but it's not so great when greedy people get involved. The first couple in line each got a voucher for the Wii. Then once the Kmart lady went back into the store people started leaving because they had waited an hour and a half only to find out they weren't going to get what they came for, and the doors weren't even open. The lady from the front of the line started walking down the line saying she really didn't need two Wii's, but she had waited a really long time in line, longer than anyone else, so she'd be willing to SELL HER VOUCHER! Makes my blood boil just thinking about it. Some guy bought it for $50.00 $50.00 just for the ability to be able to purchase the Wii in the store.

Oh well, we did get our Wii, and we're enjoying it, but it still bums me out that the very nice lady in line right behind us didn't get one after waiting in line just a few minutes less than Mark and I, all because of someone else's greed. That's all she was there for, so she left when we got the last voucher. GRRR! Some people.

Yes. It's true. We're nuts. It's 5 AM and we are at KMart in persuit of a Wii. Pure insanity I tell ya.

Lady

Our dog Lady brings me such joy. She's a great dog. We got her from the pound 2 and a half years ago. She is 3 years old this month. When we went to Boise for our Psych eval and weekend away, we stayed 2 nights in a hotel. We ended up in a corner room on the third floor that had windows to the floor. She found her way behind the curtains where she kept watch over the parking lot. She occasionally saw geese or people with other dogs. No matter what she saw, she very intently kept watch. On Saturday morning when Mark left for breakfast with his buddy, I laid on the floor and watched out the window with Lady. As soon as he drove out of sight she got a little sad and rested her head on the floor. I just had to share a picture of our sweet dog!

Movin' on up!

"....Moo-oo-vin on up, to a dee-luxe apartment in the skyyyyyy."

No, we're not moving. We have been in our house exactly 3 years. No immediate plans to move. Yes, I'm singing the theme song from the old tv show "The Jeffersons." Recently our kitties have found great comfort hiding out in the perceived safety of a tv tray that was left out. They love it. They take turns "hiding" out under there. I decided they needed a new place to hide out. I went to Petsmart to check out their kitty condos. I was quickly reminded of the reason we have never purchased a condo for our kitties. For a single level, 12" round, kitty house, it was I think $30-40. That's for basically one square foot. YIKES! I just couldn't justify it. We went to Home Depot, and bought a concrete tube form. It's basically a huge toilet paper roll. It's 12" in diameter, and 4 feet long. This was $11. I made a couple of visits to a local carpet store, and talked the guy into saving a remnant piece for me. He gave it to me, and asked me to keep him in mind when I need carpet for our house. I promised I would. This carpet was great. I'd love to have it in my whole house! I had most of the wood at home. We had to spend a few dollars more on hardware and little bits of lumber. All in all, I would say the kitty's "Deluxe apartment in the sky" was about $17-20. Similar sized condos at Petsmart were $150-200. I went a little nuts building. It's a tri-level. From the inside of each little round den, there is a hole to go up to the next level. Except the top den. That has a little nesting box area. One of them likes it... the other isn't sure what she thinks about the whole thing just yet.

In other news. Less than 2 months to our FET! Very exciting. Just a few days shy of a month to our next doctors appointment. Gotta find more things to keep myself busy. The kitty condo project wiped out this weekend pretty well. :) Hopefully holiday activities will have me occupied over the next 8 weeks or so....

It's the Hurry-up and Wait Game!

For the last month, I've had things to get in order. Things to get done. Things to keep me occupied. From that first inquiry a month ago to see if Embryo Adoption could finally be an option for us, there has been a lot to do. What started out as a daunting list of things to complete, has come together like I could have never imagined.

In the last month, I've gotten our the financing together. That alone I expected would take a month or more, but less than a week from sending the application in, the money is ready and waiting in our bank account. We've reviewed the list of embryos available at our clinic, and selected the ones for us. They initially were no longer available, but with one phone call from the clinic, they are ours! There was testing to be done. A psychological evaluation to be done on both of us. One week from my first call to inquire about the evaluation, it's done! A saline ultrasound to ensure there is no uterine abnormalities to interfere with the implantation of our precious little embryos. There was quite a tight window that this test had to be done in. It had to be between days 6 and 10 of my menstrual cycle. Oh yeah, and the doctor that needs to do this test works between clinics in two different states, so hopefully my (normally non-existent)cycle lines up with his schedule for November, because he's only going to be in the office 2 days in December. Worked out perfectly! That's the test I had done last Tuesday. I had to have some more blood work done, to ensure I haven't contracted any diseases in the last year.
The prescriptions are called in (I had this done to nail down the amount of financing I needed to secure). Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. Check. It's all done!

For the last several weeks, I carried around my notebook, so I could have everything together and handy when I needed it. I prepared my questions there so they were easily available when I talked to my coordinator. I'm completely amazed at how things have come together. I couldn't have forced this if I had tried! I wish there was something to occupy me right now, but alas, I wait. About the only thing I can do to prepare right now is take my birth control pills for the next 34 days. Other than that, I just need to have my prescriptions filled and get a new sharps container before our appointment on December 20.

For now, it's just hurry up and wait! Any ideas to occupy my time for the next 63 days until transfer? I have this nervous, excited anticipation knot in my stomach every time I think about it.

Saline Ultrasound Procedure

A couple of days ago, I had a saline ultrasound. I said I would give more of an explaination of the procedure and why it was neeed, so here goes!

Sonohysterogram or Hysterosonogram

What is a sonohysterogram?A hysterosonogram or HSN is also known by the names sonohysterogram, saline ultrasound, saline sonogram, or saline infusion sonogram. A hysterosonogram is an office based ultrasound procedure that can determine if there are abnormalities inside the uterus that might interfere with pregnancy. This test involves no radiation, and there are very few risks from the procedure. Compared to a regular ultrasound, a sonohysterogram is better at detecting abnormalities on the inside walls of the uterus because it involves infusing sterile fluid inside the uterus. This way, the walls of uterus separate from each other and any abnormalities that might have been hiding right along the sides of the walls will be easily identified.

Here is an example to help understand why we do a hysterosonogram. Think of your uterus like a collapsed balloon. If there was a small growth or bump on the inside wall of the collapsed balloon, it might be hard to see since the top and bottom walls are touching each other. However, if we inflated the balloon, the small growth will be easier to see since it will likely be able to hang away from the wall.

Traditionally, the "best" way to look for abnormalities inside the uterus was a test called a hysteroscopy, which involves an out-patient surgery using a type of telescope to look inside the uterus. However, in recent years, the techniques for a sonohysterogram have become so advanced that it has usually replaced hysteroscopy as the first procedure to look for abnormalities in the uterus. Compared to a hysteroscopy, a sonohysterogram is less invasive, less expensive and nearly as effective at detecting abnormalities.

The procedure was really a piece of cake. No big deal at all. It was over before I even knew it. This was the first test I've had done in a long time that didn't find something wrong! That's a huge praise for me! Everything has come together so well for us in this current process, that I've been waiting for a road block, or even a speed bump. Makes me sad that I think that way. I need to stop that!

We have a target date!

I tried to update my with the short version from my cellphone this afternoon, but it didn't work this time. So here's the long version.

What a day! OYE, seemed like nothing could go right from the time I left the house this morning. I worked till noon, and came home to take care of our dog Lady. After she was taken care of, I headed out. Got a couple of miles away, and wondered if I had closed the garage door. So I came back home, all was well. Got across town, reached for my phone to call DH and let him know I was on the road. No cellphone. I really didn't want to travel that far without it, so I came home again, searched for my phone, found it, and had a met attack (aka the poopies). All in all, I didn't get out of town until 1:30. Good thing I got off work when I did! I barely made it in time for my appointment.

This was only the 2nd time I've had an appointment with the actual doctor. Usually it's an NP. The nurse that was assisting told me before the doctor came in, how happy she was that we were doing this. She said they are pretty stingy with their embies there at the clinic. Apparently they get calls from all over the country looking for embryos. She also told me that her very best friend just left the office. She talked her into doing EA, and just left the office from her first u/s where they saw one little heart beating.

I'm not fond of the doctor. At least I wasn't from our first consult a year ago. At that time, he came across very arrogant and abrasive. Today he seemed much more personable and funny. The catheter hurt a bit, but it always does with me. I have a "tricky cervix." The ultrasound itself was very quick. We were having a conversation while he did it, and it was over before I knew it. Everything looked perfect, and he said he'd see me in January! He asked if I had any questions. I did, but I was still half naked, covered with a large paper towel. Good thing I came prepared. I asked him to hand me my notebook, and I turned to the page of questions I had prepared for him. My questions for him were rather simple. The nurse laughed at my organization, and asked if I would come with her next time she needed to go to the doctor :)

After that, the embryo donor coordinator had scheduled some time to meet with me as well. So we went to her office to talk dates. The target date for transfer is January 15! They are frozen in three separate straws. One straw has three embryos, and the other two straws each have two embryos. They will thaw the group of three embryos first. If two or three survive, we will transfer those. If only one survives, they will thaw another straw.

Oh, one more thing about the ultrasound. I do have a large cyst on one of my ovaries. I start birth control pills today to resolve the cyst and control my cycle until it's time to get rolling. I will be on the pill until December 16. I will have my baseline ultrasound on December 20th. Also on that day, we will have our plan of care meeting, where we will nail down the rest of the dates for monitoring etc, and our shot class. I will start estrogen shots then. I've got some blood work to be done in the meantime.

Other than that, it's hurry up and wait. I'm so excited! Having dates makes this all the more real!Sorry to leave you hanging for so long. On the way home, I had to stop at my sister's house for my nephew and niece's birthday parties. Made for a LONG day. I'm going to get ready for bed now. Tomorrow I'll explain the actual procedure I went through today, and the reasons for it. Thank you all for checking on me!

Saline Ultrasound and consult today.

I'll be leaving work in a few minutes. My appointment is in 3 and a half hours, but it's about a 2 hour drive to my RE's office. Unfortunately Mark couldn't get off work for this appointment, and I couldn't schedule it for another time this cycle. My heart is beating out of my chest! Good results today bring us one step closer to our FET! I'm nervous and excited all at once.

I probably won't be able to get online to give a full update until late tonight. I'll see what I can do to get a shortened version of a blog update from my cellphone after the appointment for those who really want to know :)

Thank you so much for your prayers! They are needed and felt!

A Bittersweet Day

What a range of emotions I've experienced today. I woke up to anxiety. Today was the due date of the precious little one we lost earlier this year. I've choked back some tears. I should have a tiny little baby in my arms right now, crying and depriving me of sleep. At the same time I'm grieving the loss of our child, I'm excited about the prospect of our future children, our little ones on ice. Things are coming together so quickly, and in a way that I couldn't force if I tried! I can't help but be happy about this. The other day I was thinking about the wonderful testimony God is creating for our children. Then I feel guilty being excited about these children on the day that I am grieving the loss of our first child.

To top things off, today was my Grandma Bonnie's birthday. I called her at the nursing home in Kansas. That made me sad again. In a 15 minute conversation she asked 3 different times where I live, where I work, how long I've worked there, and if we're still trying to have a baby. Thankfully I only had to tell her once about the miscarriage. It's so sad to see her mind going. It's been happening for quite some time. I still hate it. What a mess of emotions I am!

Psych Eval--Check!

Our progress continues to amaze me. I'm not so sure why. Why should I be surprised? We really feel like God is opening these doors for us. We had already planned for a few days away this week. We took Thursday and Friday off of work and came to Boise. We got a hotel for both nights, and have had a fantastic time. We've seen friends and family, we've dined out and just had a great time just being with each other. We will head back home tomorrow afternoon. Since we were already going to be here in Boise, I made a call and got our Psych Evaluations done while we were here! Worked out beautifully.

From my understanding, Psych Eval's aren't just required by my clinic, but for use of 3rd party reproductive assistance in general. By 3rd party, I mean the use of donor sperm, eggs, embryos or surrogates. The evaluation was a great opportunity for Mark and I to talk things out with an objective third party and make sure we're both on the same page, and make sure we've really thought about everything. We are both just as dedicated to following this path as we were before. After our time visiting with the therapist, we had to each complete a written evaluation. 567 true/false questions. YUCK. Didn't enjoy that one so much. Took more than a couple of minutes to finish. Mark was much quicker than I. He took a break and went out and check on Lady, and came back, and went to the bathroom, had a snack, and still finished more than a hundred questions ahead of me!

So that's one more thing checked off of our list! Very, very exciting to me. One thing that has been weighing on me is the financial aspect of all of this. Even though we aren't doing a full invtro process, there are still substantial costs involved, and there are some costs unique to the donor program, but God continues to provide for us. We decided to borrow from my 401k. I talked with my company's human resources a couple of weeks ago to see if this was an option. She told me it was, and sent me the paperwork. It took some time, but I compiled a list of anticipated expenses involved, as those had to be submitted with the loan application. I sent those to my company's corporate office on Tuesday. They arrived on Wednesday. I called Wednesday afternoon to make sure they had received everything. (I was nervous because we're starting these appointments, where we will have to pay out of pocket, and don't have the money to cover all of them!) She assured me they had received everything, and she would notify the committee that they would need to meet to review my request. So I was thinking a week or two. She called me the NEXT morning to let me know everything had been approved. This was not even 48 hours after I put it in the mail! Since we were already on our way to Boise, we stopped by and finished off the promissory note and wire transfer instructions. She seemed to think the money should be in our account by sometime next week. What a huge blessing, and yet another confirmation to us!