Hello big cruel world

Well, I left the safety of my cozy home today to go back into the big cruel world. No more bedrest, it was back to work today. I did good. I followed directions. I didn't lift anything I shouldn't. I was pooped when I got home even though work wasn't terribly busy. I need to venture out to Walmart. I can't decide if I should do it tonight or another night.... hmmmm..... the big decisions in life!

No news is good news

Well, I'm taking the "no news is good news" approach. I went in for my blood work at 7 am this morning, the results were to be STAT. My clinic only calls on blood work if there is a problem, and the doses need to be changed. I called the pharmacy today and they said they were sorry about the outdated medication, and they would mix up some new ones for me. These don't expire until April. MUCH better! I've had some cramping today. Not sure if that's good bad, or gas ;) I've been enjoying taco soup this week.

My mom brought over dinner today and cleaned the kitchen. I thought she was just going to load the dishwasher. She did more, and I'm embarrassed. My stove looks great!

Pictures

Human Life, in it's nearly smallest form! These are day 3 embryos. I'm not sure exactly how many cells they have, but aren't they beautiful. Two cells join, become one, and then quickly begin the process of dividing. This is a picture of the embryos that were placed inside me on Friday. These are our babies!! The ultrasound picture is them being placed. It's surreal watching the ultrasound screen as the tube is guided into position. The little bright spot in the middle of he screen is where they were placed. The big black area at the top is my VERY FULL bladder!

Prayer request

Please pray for my progesterone levels. I will have a blood test tomorrow to make sure everything is OK. I have been on progesterone in oil injections since Tuesday. I'm not concerned about that (other than they hurt and leave bruises). The day of transfer I started another form of progesterone. Because this blog may be read by mixed company, I won't say exactly how the progesterone is administered, I'll tell you it isn't by shot or by mouth, and leave the rest to your imagination, and that should get you in the ball park. Anyway, this other form of progesterone comes from a local compounding pharmacy. Meaning they mix up the medication there at their pharmacy. I picked up all of my medications at the beginning of this cycle, on September 30. I didn't need all of the medications at that time, but I just wanted to save myself several trips to the pharmacy. So Friday night I went to use the progesterone. The box is labeled to discard after 10/20/08! OH NO! This is on 10/24 that I discovered it. I called the pharmacy the next day. (Oh, I should mention, I filled this from the prescription written on 10/24/07 in preparation for our previous FET, so I can't even get a refill). The pharmacist tells me the labels are computer generated, and the mediation should be fine. I called the clinic and talked to an on call Nurse Practitioner. She said the medication should be fine, but for peace of mind she called in a new prescription. I sent Mark to pick it up. He brings it home, hands it to me for verification. This one says.... get this.... "Discard after 8/15/08" I'm furious. How hard it this? I've never had trouble with this pharmacy before. Then I realized, I can't be furious. I'm not allowed. I'm on vacation. I'm on the beach. I'm chillin. I'm making a happy place for babies. But for crying out loud!

My required bed rest is 2-4 days. I'll be up more than I'd like to be tomorrow. Please pray my blood work comes back just right. And that none of this causes any problems with the babies. There is a lot of time, effort, emotion, energy, money, not to mention HUMAN LIVES involved here. I don't want any of that in jeopardy because of a stupid expired medication.

We're home....

and I'm on Princess Status. We arrived home several hours ago, but I've been sleeping off the Valium. Everything went beautifully, and we currently have 3 babies on board. He said that on average each one has a 20-25% chance. They thawed one "straw" that had 3 embryos and all of them looked good when they thawed, so that is what we went with for transfer. I'm currently on bed rest for the next several days. Mark is already doing a fantastic job of taking care of me!

We're off to see the wizard....

The wonderful wizard of Oz... Probably not the best title for a post about going to the baby doctor, but here we go. I'd love prayers for the thaw and transfer of our embryos today!

Shampoo, Lather, Rinse, Repeat..

I have been running a million miles per hour this week! Sooooo much to do. The house is about 2/3 put back together after the carpet cleaning. The carpet looks better. I still don't like the carpet, but not much I can do about that right now. At least it's not nasty ;)

It's late Wednesday as I'm writing this. The transfer is Friday. Yes, THIS Friday! As in the day after tomorrow. As in, 37 hours from now. Starting Friday I will be on Princess status. I'll be on bed rest for the first few days. Then I'll take it easy until the beta hcg blood test. I haven't had much time to be excited. I'm actually exhausted!

Monday I was on the go from 7 am to 11 pm. Tuesday was 8 am to 8 pm, then came home and worked on Uppercase Living orders. Today was 8 am to 7 pm, and I worked on a little bit of cooking and then Uppercase Living order. Tomorrow I will only work until about 1 or 2 at my regular job, but I expect more of the same. Shampoo, Lather, Rinse, Repeat... I need to take time for some rest sometime tomorrow. I don't want to feel run completely down when it comes time for transfer!

Thank you those who are praying for us! I really want this to be the one!

More needles!

As if the prescribed needles weren't enough for me over the last week, I added the flu shot, and then on Thursday, I added acupuncture! I hate needles. I should say that. I can't watch anyone give me a shot. I can't watch when they draw blood. The average mother can always bring up labor when their (usually older) child. "I was in labor for x hours with you..." I will be able to bring up needles!

This week we really pick up the pace with this treatment cycle. Yes, that includes more needles. First thing tomorrow I have a blood draw at the local hospital lab. This is to check my estrogen levels, to make sure I am still on an appropriate dose of the Tues/Friday evening shots of estridol valerate. Tuesday morning I will begin daily PIO (progesterone in oil) shots. SO NOT FUN! Tuesday I will also add two more sets of pills to the am/pm cocktail. I believe one is a steroid, and one is an antibiotic. Then Friday is the big day. We will leave bright and early in the morning for Boise. We will arrive at the clinic one hour early, and the acupuncturist I met with earlier this week will be there. He will treat me both before and after the transfer. If this one goes anything like the last, I will sleep all the way home! Good times!

I also have a very busy week other than the treatment cycle. We spent this weekend tearing the house apart to clean, and prepare to have the carpets cleaned on Tuesday. I've got an Uppercase Living Party Monday night, and hopefully 3 different parties to close and send in before Thursday. Oh, and I have to work at my normal job too!

A Winter Wonderland.... in October?

Friday we had a bit of snow during the day, but nothing that really stuck. A bit early for our area, but not unheard of. Saturday morning we woke up to a WHITE yard. Throughout the day it melted off, but was white all over again this morning. I couldn't resist snapping a few pictures!

Needles, needles everywhere!!

Last Tuesday I had my first shot for this cycle. Over the course of this treatment nonsense, Mark has gotten pretty good at the injections. I hardly felt a thing! Friday was a repeat. This one I felt a bit more, but a hot water bottle took care of that. Saturday morning, we decided to bite the bullet and go get our flu shots. We went to the "doc in the box" (walk in doctor's office) right when they opened. We were in and out in less than ten minutes! Not too bad. This one hurt worse than than the rest of my needles for the week. Tomorrow morning I will go to the hospital lab for a blood draw. This will be to check my hormone levels, to see if the dose needs to be adjusted for the injections I'm currently taking. The crazy thing of all of this is we are hoping this is the first week of about... 13 more weeks of injections. If the treatment cycle is successful, I will have to remain on them through the first trimester of pregnancy.

Other than that, I've been keeping myself busy with my Uppercase Living business. I've got quite a few parties going! I'm happy with that. I'm still spending about as much as I'm making, but hopefully I'll start turning a profit. I have a very full calendar this month between doctors appointments and UL Parties. Busy is good. Makes the time go by faster!

Here we go again!

I was going to keep this one quiet, but I'll go ahead and share the secret. We are going to have another Frozen Embryo Transfer this year! This month actually. We had a doctor's appointment yesterday to check everything out. We're off and running. Mark gave me my first estriodol injection yesterday. I wish they were all like that. The progesterone is the yucky one.... Oh how I dread it! PIO is bad stuff. But we'll get to that later.

At my appointment yesterday our coordinator Kara threw a curve at us. We have a HUGE decision to make we would love your prayers for guidance. These are human lives we are dealing with, and we want to make sure we are making the right decision!

Happy Birthday Mama Lucy...

Today would have been Mama Lucy's 52nd birthday. She's been gone longer than she was alive. Mama Lucy was my first mom. She is the one who gave me the gift of life. She died when she was just a couple of months shy of 25. I thought about it briefly today but didn't dwell on it. I'm glad. Now reflecting on it tonight I am sad. She was so young. I was so young.
She was younger when she died than I was when I got married. How crazy is that? I wish she could see the person I've grown to be. I'm far from perfect, but I'd like to think she would be proud.

Happy Birthday in heaven Mama Lucy. I'm so happy to know that I will see you again someday. Hug my babies for me!

More fun with uppercase living!

My previous post told you all about my new business with Uppercase Living. I got my first order in this week and I've been having fun! Here are some pictures of what we've done with it so far. I've got more to do, and another order coming this week. I'm excited!

Way out of date again!

My blog is way out of date again. What can I say? There are a few small things I could have been updating you about along the way.

First thing. I have started an at-home business. I have joined Uppercase Living as an independent demonstrator. UL is a company that does at-home parties selling vinyl letter and expressions. That description doesn't do it justice. You really have to see the catalog to know what I'm talking about. (My new UL website is http://kinder.uppercaseliving.net- If you find something you'd like, let me know. I can take paypal and have it shipped directly to you if you're not in my area!). I could really go crazy with this stuff. I just received my demonstrators kit this week, and I've been working on getting my stuff together and all organized. As of right now my first party is scheduled for the middle of September. There is another in the works, for September, and room for more. I don't want to become a pushy person with this stuff. The last thing I want is people to dread seeing me coming. But I do hope to make some extra money for "The Human Fund." The name for the Human Fund did come from a particular episode of Seinfeld. But our Human Fund really is for Humans ;) That's what we call our savings for infertility treatments. That brings me to the next update.

We are about half a step closer to doing treatment. I do have a tentative goal of another Frozen Embryo Transfer this year! We are still praying, and will accept a closed door if that is what God has for us, but for now we continue to move forward. Finances are still a concern (anyone want some words for their wall?) but I'm confident that if this is what God wants for us, He will provide.

Mark is doing well. He continues to sleep with his CPAP machine. We met with the sleep doctor this week, and were very pleased to find out that bottom number of his blood pressure has gone down 10 in the last month! All this from getting restful sleep at night. Who knew?? I guess I should check my blood pressure. Maybe I'm getting better sleep now too! Seriously I've slept all night each night in our bed. This hasn't happened in YEARS! It really is an exciting thing for me. One of my co-workers said that now that I'm sleeping in the same bed as my husband, maybe I will get pregnant. I hated to explain to this 60 year old woman that it's not the SLEEPING that makes babies. I guess it's been awhile since she had kids at home! Seriously though, I know way about conception than I ever wanted to. It now amazes me how much the fertile world doesn't know about conception.

More glorious sleep!

Well, it's been more than a week since Mark got his CPAP. I heard some noise last night. He was breathing in through his nose (through the mask) and out through his mouth. I got up and adjusted his mask. I don't know if it stopped him breathing through his mouth or not. He at least stopped long enough for me to fall asleep. I've now slept 9 nights in a row in our bedroom with him. This is some kind of crazy record.

I've accomplished absolutely nothing this weekend. Wait, wait, that's not true. I patched 3 pairs of Marks pants. I don't want to go telling stories on him, but he seems to have troubles with his pants at work. They like to rip on him.

In other news, I'd really appreciate your prayers. I've had a serious longing lately to go back for our embryos. I see Asian children, and think. I wonder if that's what our babies could look like. I want to do treatment again, but the finances aren't quite there. But more than that, I don't feel a clear direction. I don't know if this recent stirring in me is just my own fleshly desires, or something from God. I want to know clearly that any steps we take for our family are in His will for us. The treatment process is far too much of an physical, emotional, and financial investment to do on my own. Not to mention that we are dealing with real human lives here.

Guess who is playing in our back yard!

OK, so maybe not IN our back yard, but above it, and the surrounding area. It's the Blue Angels! There's an air show going on this weekend at an airport about 4 miles from our house. When the Blue Angels started roaring above the house, Lady and I went outside to watch. They went right over us several times.

These were pictures from yesterday. They are just getting ready to take to the sky for today's show right now.

Sleep. It's a beautiful thing!

Sleep. It's a beautiful thing! I have just awaken from my second, yes second full night of sleep in the same room as my husband. To the average married person, this may seem trivial. But I think it's probably been a year or two since we've slept two full nights in our bed together. You may be asking yourself why the sudden change? The sudden change is my new best friend. It's called CPAP. You probably didn't read that correct. It doesn't say CRAP. It's CPAP. CPAP is an acronym, and stands for Constant Positive Airway Pressure. It's a small mask that Mark straps to his face. It covers his nose, and has a hose attached to it that connects to a machine next to the bed. There are several different machines. His has a heater and humidifier, as well as the standard air. Hi.s machine also has a "ramp" feature. This is probably the most important feature for him right now. It takes some getting used to, having a mask blowing air down your throat! So when he turns it on, he can press the ramp button, and this allows the air pressure to start at 1/2 of his prescribed pressure, and gradually increase to the correct pressure over about 20 minutes. This makes it easier for him to fall asleep. He hasn't had any troubles at all. He took the mask off once while he was asleep. I was awakened by the snoring, I could tell he was back to the same old pauses in breathing, so I reached over and felt his face. That answered the questions. I woke him up and helped him get it back on. As long as he has the mask on, it has virtually eliminated his snoring!


This may make it sound like it's more for me than him. I will admit I'm reaping the benefits of this machine. But Mark is as well. He wakes in the morning feeling more rested. He has more energy throughout the day. He is just feeling better!


Mark had two different sleep studies. The first diagnosed that he did in fact have Obstructive Sleep Apnea. I explained exactly what OSA is in a previous post. The second sleep study was called a CPAP Titration. That night they hooked up all the same wires and monitors to him as the first sleep study. But this time they also hooked up a CPAP machine. Throughout the night, the tech adjusted the pressure on the CPAP to find out exactly what pressure he needed to eliminate the apnea events.


For those who like visuals:

This first image shows a few minutes of his first sleep study. The biggest thing I noticed on this is his airflow. When it's flat, he's not getting breath. Then he takes in about two breaths, and then no breath. This repeats over and over again. Keeping the airflow line in mind, look above at all of the other lines in the top half. Just before he breathes, he has increased activity. This is his brain waking him up enough to make him breathe again. At this particular time his oxygen level was 89.1 (but eventually got down to 75) his pulse was 68.4, and he was in stage 2 sleep.

With his second night, the CPAP flow replaces the airflow. With a consistent air supply coming in, everything else seems more consistent. His oxygen level is 95, his pulse is 73.4 and he is in a deeper stage 3 sleep.

Looking at this on a chart was amazing to me to see how much of an improvement this was for him!

EEK! It's been awhile

It's been awhile since my last post. Man I'm getting bad at this. About the only thing to report is my wonderful husband does in fact have sleep apnea. I've suspected it for quite awhile. I had him scheduled for a sleep study a couple of years ago, but he backed out. I finally convinced him to go through with it. I handled all the details. It was definitely a stretch from his comfort zone. It wasn't nearly as scary as he thought it would be. I drove him there, and stayed while they hooked him up. I think there were probably about 20 wires connected to him. I laid in bed with him and watched tv for about an hour. Then I drove home and spent the first full night in our bed, in at least 6 months! I normally start in our bed, and then sometime during the night, the snoring gets to me, so Lady and I head to the other side of the house. The night of his sleep study, I spent the whole night in our bed, but still woke up several times. Can't sleep with him, can't sleep without him.

For those of you wondering just what sleep apnea is, here's the short version: Obstructive sleep apnea is a sleep disorder where the soft tissue in the throat relaxes enough to collapse, either partially or completely closing off the airway. The body continues trying to breathe, but as the oxygen level decreases, the brain sends signal to wake up the body enough to open the airway again. This means sleep is not restful. The body does not have time to recuperate as it was created to do. The stress that this puts on the body can lead to a host of terrible things, heart conditions, stroke, etc. Not to mention the stuff that comes from just being tired; irritability, falling asleep at inappropriate times or inappropriate places, work accidents, etc.

The standard definition of any apneic event includes a minimum 10 second interval between breaths, with either a neurological arousal (a 3-second or greater shift in EEG frequency, measured at C3, C4, O1, or O2), a blood oxygen desaturation of 3-4% or greater, or both arousal and desaturation. Sleep apnea is diagnosed with an overnight sleep test called a polysomnogram. Clinically significant levels of sleep apnea are defined as five or more episodes per hour of any type of apnea (from the polysomnogram).

The night of his sleep study, he went to bed at about 11:00 and woke at about 5:30. This is fairly normal for him. During this time frame, he had partial to total airway obstruction an average of 41.4 times per hour. He had full obstruction 221 times throughout the night. A healthy oxygen level is around 90% - His got down to 75%.

This is freaky stuff! I knew he probably had it. But I was thinking he had stopped breathing once in awhile. I've heard him gasp and sputter from time to time. I had no idea it was this bad.

So they give us this information, and then tell us we have to wait 5 weeks for an opening for another sleep study so they can fix the problem! That's nuts I tell ya. I asked that they put us on a waiting list for any cancellation appointments. She explained to me that he's been sleeping like this for years. It's just to protect his future health.

Luckily there was a cancellation, and he's been moved up another 2 weeks. So he will have another sleep study called a titration. This is where he will be sleeping with a CPAP machine (Constant Positive Airway Pressure). They will set the pressure of the machine so that it's enough to keep his airway open. He currently has a practice machine to get used to breathing with it. It's an adjustment. I put it on for a few minutes myself. It feels like the wind is blowing in your face. He's just supposed to wear it for 15-20 minutes each day to get himself used to it. The last couple of nights he's been ready for bed, so I've let him sleep for a little bit with it (even though we don't have instructions to do so). I figure I'm here next to him, so I can see if there is a problem. He's sleeping so peacefully right now, and sooooo quietly! Still snoring a bit, but nothing like the normal chainsaw!

I really hope getting on a CPAP machine will allow him to get truly restful sleep in the near future!

Liquified worm poop. What the? Who does this? I don't envy that job.

Bolthouse Farms

Just this weekend, I learned of a company called Bolthouse Farms. I live in small town Idaho, and have to actually put forth an effort to look for the type of all natural products (primarily juices/smoothies and salad dressings) this company sells. To be honest, I usually don't even try. However when I read of them this weekend, I decided to seek out a store in my area that carried their products. The reason I did this is because of a boycott being organized against their products by Liberal Gay Activists. To quote their website, they are unhappy with the fact that:

"William Bolthouse, founder and 43% owner of Bolthouse Farms, a farm in California that provides organic juices, lemonades, and smoothies to places like Whole Foods and other organic market places, has just recently given a donation of $100,000 to proponents of a campaign to strip California couples of the right to marry. "

So I went to the Bolthouse Farms Website and read their mission statement. I will quote the beginning of their mission philosophy.

Corporate Philosophy - The purpose of this Company is to glorify God through our business transactions, our work, and our relationships. It is further our desire to bring honor and glory to the Name of Jesus Christ by following God's Word in all of our dealings with employees, suppliers, and customers. God's Work as contained in His Inspired Scriptures will be the final authority in all Corporate matters concerning direction, decisions, and disputes.

As soon as I read this, I was sold. It's such a rare gem to find this a company these days, in a world where it is so politically incorrect to bring religious faith into the workplace, and market place. I will (and did today) go out of my way to support a company like this. You see, I'm a Conservative Christian. The gay activists can call for a boycott, and they are just standing up for their rights, but for a conservative Christian to call for support for this company, that means I'm considered a bigot. As I said before, I just learned of this company. I have nothing to gain financially by calling other people to support them. I just want to stand up for a company that is doing what is right!

I went to the Bolthouse Farms Store Locator and found some stores in my area (Winco, Wal-Mart, and Albertsons), and set out in search of their products. I will admit, they cost more than I would normally spend on juice (I guess most all natural products are). However I'm happy to spend my money on this. After buying a couple of bottles of smoothies, and a bottle of salad dressing, we headed to Costco to finish up the rest of our shopping, and stumbled upon more Bolthouse Juice products. I happily purchased them as well. All that we got tasted very good. Here is what one shelf of our fridge looks like today. Mark really liked the Perfectly Protein Vanilla Chai. I liked the C-Boost Tropical Fruit Smoothie.

Soooooo, if you are in the market for some all natural juices, smoothies, or lower fat, lower calorie salad dressing, please consider supporting this company that is really willing to put their money where their mouth is!