Touched

When Mark and I met, he was a youth minister at his church, and I was doing youth and children's ministry at mine. After we married, we did the children's ministry together, and Mark did music ministry at the small church I belonged to. For various reasons, we left that church about 2 and a half years ago. Sadly, since then, we have been going to church very casually-- Never REALLY getting involved. Mark wanted to, but I think I resisted. I don't even want to get into the reasons, or worse, the excuses for this. Last Sunday after church, I walked by a table, and signed us up for a small group. Our church now calls them "Lifegroups- Do life Together."

We know one of the couples that co-hosts this lifegroup, so that helped me in choosing this group. It's specifically for married couples. We went tonight. There were 5 couples total at this Lifegroup. We opened by introducing ourselves. Then We sang a few worship songs. The Last Song was "Lord You're Beautiful"

"Oh Lord You’re beautiful

Your face is all I seek

For when Your eyes are on this child

Your grace abounds to me."

When we sang this song, the tears really began streaming down my face. I didn't want to cry. I just couldn't stop it. I want to reach a point that His face is all I seek. It seems that over the last few years I've wanted to be a mom so bad that I spend a whole lot of energy seeking that. Probably more than I spend seeking Him. This must change. The other part of that really got me was this: "For when Your eyes are on this child, your grace abounds to me." Think about those words. Soak them in. Wow. When are His eyes not on us? Even as I have felt a whole range of emotions after losing our only baby, God has had his eyes on me, and I have been surrounded by His grace. I just felt so touched. I want to cry again now.