Doctor's Appointment

I had an appointment with my general family doctor yesterday. Wow.... how exhausting! Don't ya love it when they make you take your clothes off and sit in a room and wait on them. :) Looking around the room there were all kinds of mommy and me type things. I could feel the tears welling up. When the nurse came in, first of all, there were the apologies. She felt so bad about the congratulations call a couple of weeks ago. When she took my blood pressure it was abnormally high. The nurse left, and I was alone in the room. Being alone with my thoughts is still hard. Left alone with them very long, I lose it. Then the doctor came in. All he could say at first was "Darn, Darn, Darn, Darn, Darn." Doctor Irwin is such a nice man. He did the initial exam and then had the nurse, Laurie, come back in for my pap. Normally I'd go to my doctor in Boise for this, but I just didn't want to mess with the travel for just a pap. Dr Irwin said he'd send the results to Dr. Lowder and Dr Foulk in Boise for me.

After my pap was done, they talked with me about the high blood pressure, and of course, the need to lose weight. They they asked how I was doing. All in all, I cried, and they both listened for about 45 minutes. That's a great doctor for ya! Yes, you do have to wait in the waiting room FOREVER there at times, but I guess it makes it better knowing they aren't afraid to spend time on someone who needs it. It was very validating for me. Most people in my day to day life don't know what to say. So they don't say anything. Sometimes I just want to scream. My baby died, and my life changed forever. Life is back to normal for everyone else. I know Mark hurts. He just doesn't say it, or show it.

Ok, enough of the babbling! My current mission is to work on my blood pressure! I want to do another ovulation induction & IUI cycle, but I'm not sure when that's going to happen.