I love the IDEA of blogging...

Ok, so I love the IDEA of blogging. I just don't know why I can't get myself to do it. Maybe I don't think I have much to say. We've been on this journey of trying to expand our family for so long, I feel like I'm just chasing my tail. Now I say so long, but through this journey, I've met so many people who've been on the trail a lot longer than we have. This spring, Mark and I will celebrate our 4th anniversary. We started trying to have a child not long after we were married. It's strange to see people who are on their 2nd or 3rd child in the amount of time we have been trying to have one! This isn't how I pictured things, but I must hold onto the belief that God has a plan for our lives... It doesn't make the journey easier though.

With all of that said, we're getting ready to start trying with medical intervention again. We've never stopped trying to have a baby, but we stopped medical treatment in October 2005. We're keeping the upcoming treatments hush hush for right now. This isn't necessarily to keep things from our friends and family as much as it is to perserve some sense of privacy. So for those of you who read this, now or someday down the road, know that us being quiet about this isn't to hurt you. Just think of it this way, how many children, other than your own, do you get to know the intimate details of their conception? Not many at all. We have been forced to give up the privacy of our bedroom and involve various doctors and nurses in the process of trying to conceive a child. I'm just claiming privacy in areas I do have control of. I need SOMETHING in all of this to be on my terms.

So if I want my privacy, why am I writing about it here? I have no idea. This is hard stuff to keep to myself. I think it could eat me alive if I let it. So if you're one of the few that finds this now while we're starting these treatments, we would greatly appreciate your prayers. Advise not so much... prayers definately! Everyone has an opinion on all of this. Mark and I have to just pray and make these decisions based on what we feel is right. I guess I have a very delicate line between needing privacy, and needing support. I'm just trying to find that balance.

Hopefully our treatment cycle will begin very soon. I'm waiting on some medication to jumpstart my system, and then throughout the month I will be a cross between a pin-cushin and a medicine cabinet! I'm very excited and yet very scared. I woud LOVE LOVE LOVE to be blessed with twins. If I could have 2 children, I think I could be content. I guess I've wanted twins longer than I thought. I recently found a picture from high school. During a child development class I took in high school, we had to carry around egg babies for a week. I chose twins! Mark and I have started joking around about "the twins. And NO! He is not referring to any part of my anatomy!