I don't always understand

Some of this is duplication from my prev post... please forgive.

My keyboard is being stubborn. I'll try to catch the typos, but some keys seem to be sticking. Not sure how to safely clean the keyboard of a laptop. OYE! But alas, that is the least of my problems these days.

As I mentioned in the previous post, we are gearing up for another cycle. To say my body isn't cooperating could be an understatement. In order to spare mixed company (like maybe my teenage nephews) the embarrassment, I won't go into details. But lets just say, my body is less than normal, and it's having a hard time getting "back on track" after the d&c in December. I had a water ultrasound on February 13. This was particularly painful. I don't remember feeling that way last time. During this procedure, a catheter is inserted and the uterus is filled with a saline solution while an ultrasound probe is in place. There was some area that wasn't as the doctor hoped to see. He believes it was some "residual debris from recent menses."

After meeting with the doctor, we moved down the hall to line things out with the embryo donor coordinator. We have a total of 7 embryos available. (As a side note-- NO, there is no way I would transfer them all. I don't think my clinic would do that, but even if they would, there's no way I'd agree to it.) We have 4 embryos left from our first donors, and 3 from our second. As of now, our thaw plan is the 3 embryos from our second donors. They are frozen together, so they must all be thawed. If 2-3 of them survive thaw, then that is what we transfer. If 0-1 survive, then they will thaw one "straw" from the first group of embryos. Those are frozen in 2 groups of 2. If 1-2 survive thaw, that is what we transfer. If 0, then they will thaw the final straw. In our previous transfers, we were very fortunate to have every embryo survive thaw. This however is not always the case, so we must be prepared for any outcome. It's very important that our plan is clear, and our wishes known by the embryologist, and clinic staff. I'm currently on birth control pills, with a target transfer date of 3/26. My next appointment is March 5. I'd love your prayers that my body will be cooperating by then, and that we will be on target for a March transfer.

After laying everything out with the coordinator, we went down the hall to meet with the financial coordinator. We've been with this clinic for several years, and we have never met with the financial coordinator.

Another rabbit trail here.... Infertility is EXPENSIVE STUFF! I don't think there is anything inexpensive about infertility. As with anything in the business world, it's supply and demand I guess. The value of something is what someone is willing to pay. And the desire to have a child, for someone who is unable to do so is a strong desire. Anyway- Infertility is most often not covered by insurance. Several years ago I spoke to the president of my company. He was visiting for employee meetings. At the end of the meeting I cornered him, and poured my heart out. I explained to him that in a company that seemed so family oriented, there was something really lacking in our insurance. I told him of our struggle to have a child, and I was saddened that our insurance would pay for birth control pills, tubal ligation, hysterectomy, vasectomy, IUD. Basically they would cover anything short of an elective abortion to prevent me from a having a child. But they would not cover a penny in our efforts to treat our infertility and have a child. He assured me that he would look into that. A few days later I got a call from the HR manager that infertility coverage was "unheard of, at least in our area." So THAT was the end of that!

Back to the financial coordinators. Without infertility treatment coverage in our insurance, every procedure that we have done has been 100% out of pocket. So there was no need to meet with her. Either we had the money to do it, and paid at or before the time of service, or we didn't. End of story. But this time something is different. My company was sold last year to another larger company. And some states mandate infertility insurance coverage. Meaning basically if they offer other services (in some states maternity coverage) they they must also offer some amount of coverage for infertility. My company happens to employ in at least one of the mandated states, so infertility coverage is part of the benefit package!! What a huge PRAISE! This was the reason for meeting with the financial coordinator. I had called ahead to see if the fee structure had changed at all this year. Sadly it had. The donor coordination fee went from $550 to $1000! YIKES! I asked if that was required for each transfer, since there would be no additional matching process or anything. Everything is in place, so this transfer will be no different than a standard FET. She said yes, the fee applied to each transfer. UGH. I knew the insurance probably wouldn't cover that fee, so we'd have to eat it. When we finally got in to meet with her she said she had discussed it with our nurse-coordinator, and they agreed to WAIVE OUR FEE! Another PRAISE! Then she I explained to her that we were on a PPO plan with our insurance, but that because there was no PPO doctors of this specialty in the area (Since this is the only RE in the state) that the insurance said they would probably cover at the PPO rate. So she did her calculations. With the waived fee, and the insurance coverage. She expects we will have to pay about $600-ish, instead of $4000. This doesn't include medication or lab work, but it's a HUGE savings for us. All of this was Friday the 13 of February. What a great day!

Then came Monday... I mentioned before that my company was purchased by another larger company last year. Last Monday we got an email from the President of the utility division (my division) of our company. Due to the integration of our companies, and the recent downturn in the economy there will be layoffs. I have known for months this was a possibility, but still managed to be blindsided by this. They are closing our offices to walk-in traffic. Thus doing away with my position. I haven't been given official word yet, but it is very likely I will lose my job. They will be notifying effected employees Mid-March.

Our initial thought was that we would no longer do the treatment. This was heartbreaking to me. This was already decided to be our last ARTS (assisted reproductive technology) procedure. After the initial shock of things wore off, it may not make total practical sense to try to get pregnant when I'm facing unemployment, but I don't know when it will ever be this affordable for us to try again. So we are going ahead with the plan. IF my body will cooperate. There again, I would appreciate your prayers! If we aren't able to go for a transfer in March, we may have to abandon ship, and give up on this last transfer. The thought of being "done trying" is terrifying to me.

I know God has a plan in all of this, and none of it is a surprise. That seems to be a common thread in my life. From the death of my mom at 3 years old, I know He has had a plan and a purpose for the things that have happened. I just don't understand, or see the purpose at the time. Without the storm there's no rainbow though is there?